you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
