I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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