but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm always down for nudity.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
