So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
A+ Viking dick
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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