in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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