clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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