Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
