you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
