You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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