Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
