He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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