3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize