the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The air taste purple.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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