help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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