I hope mine doesn't look like that
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize