I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?