We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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