I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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