Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1696) Bad night (4463)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart (508): These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work http://tfl.nu/sac2
  Replies (15) Good night (7646) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor. (339): No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though. http://tfl.nu/0uyr
  Replies (34) Good night (9898) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4708) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate. http://tfl.nu/5lpe
  Replies (13) Good night (6128) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore. http://tfl.nu/1haa
  Replies (15) Good night (1609) Bad night (3781)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (3139) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you. http://tfl.nu/7kee
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn. http://tfl.nu/8uge
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4
  Replies (9) Good night (1952) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz
  Replies (17) Good night (1784) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great http://tfl.nu/63wg
  Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me. http://tfl.nu/48rp
  Replies (11) Good night (3430) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/waf9
  Replies (4) Good night (1827) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (407)

Randomize