Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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  (704): i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them http://tfl.nu/p2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (2115)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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  (503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8
  Replies (14) Good night (2693) Bad night (650)
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  (530): View more from California

  So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

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  (530): So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant http://tfl.nu/6mtv
  Replies (17) Good night (3316) Bad night (782)
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  (315): View more from New York

  words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover

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  (315): words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover http://tfl.nu/6ccc
  Replies (46) Good night (5441) Bad night (744)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly

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  (443): She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly http://tfl.nu/4li6
  Replies (15) Good night (3864) Bad night (1494)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad

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  (+64): i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad http://tfl.nu/7gyh
  Replies (27) Good night (1062) Bad night (6662)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad

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  (403): well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad http://tfl.nu/t0b7
  Replies (14) Good night (1163) Bad night (2592)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

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  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2783) Bad night (1221)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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  (330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1655) Bad night (771)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
  Replies (7) Good night (2025) Bad night (762)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2545) Bad night (581)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.

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  (202): Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/pg5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1515) Bad night (430)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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  (845): You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts. http://tfl.nu/ido5
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (318)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.

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  (407): This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve. http://tfl.nu/1f06
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (256)
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  (805): View more from California

  I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.

  (310): View more from California

  When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.

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  (805): I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food. (310): When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis. http://tfl.nu/o33e
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (164)

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