What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs