My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
