We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
