What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
