I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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