good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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