To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
