you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
