Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
