Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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