She is in my trunk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
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