i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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