I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
