i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
