I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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