I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
