Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
