it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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