My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
