Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
