She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
