woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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