I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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