So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize