I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
