also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
