I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
