Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
plz talk dirty to me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
