I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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