so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
