found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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