I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
