very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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