I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
