I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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