i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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