How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
