i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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