Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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