I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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