Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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