sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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