ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Damn victory sex feels great
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
