If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
