I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
