Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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