David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
