the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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