I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
