I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
