i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
