Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
