dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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