he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
