Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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