i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
