I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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