its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
